Lately, a recurring theme while reflecting on my social and work relationships has been the competitiveness the other party injects into the relationship consciousness.
They don’t announce the competition. It would be far too simple to say, Game on! I am going to beat you in this and trample you in my dust! They are far too secretive, underhanded or conniving to voice their true hopes of vanquishing me to a nether reality once they’ve won a prize only they were aware of. However, even though they don’t speak their thoughts, their treatment of me, their skittishness around me reveals their view of me as a competitor… as an enemy.
It is always astounding to me when I sense that I am seen as an enemy. I want to speak to the unspoken tension, “I don’t want what you want!”
But it doesn’t matter what I say. The other person has already perceived me as having a worthy something that they don’t have and therefore I am a threat to them achieving what they want.
What a waste of energy.
If they knew me better they would perhaps understand that, fundamentally, our motivations are different. For one reason alone I am never threatened by anyone, no matter how fierce they are in their one-sided competition against me: They have set their minds on beating me, besting me, or putting me in my place; and I have set my mind on being the best me I can be.
Who I am has nothing to do with who anyone else is, what they have, where they go or what they do. I don’t measure my growth, my value or my joy against others. I measure myself against myself. I want to be better tomorrow than I was yesterday. I want to move forward from any stuck position because I wasn’t created to be stagnant. As long as I live and breathe, I intend to become more fully me. There’s no room in my evolution for competition with other people. Nor should anyone’s evolution have anything to do with me.