The newest friend in my Life Tapestry is Temple. This woman knows many of the secrets in my heart and I daresay I’ve been privy to quite a few of hers. We met six months ago and I don’t think there’s ever been a more instant love affair between two women. From the moment of introduction we’ve been sharing tidbits, secrets, gossip (though I told her she has to call it something different, since I don’t gossip!) and most importantly, we’ve been sharing our experiences. She was new to the company and I took her under my wing. In return she has lifted me so much – I can’t describe how much sharing just this short portion of my walk with Temple has literally changed my life.
On Friday, January 1, 2010 Temple married the love of her life, Carl. I have never felt so blessed to witness the joining of two people. Nor have I ever been so inspired by a couples’ love before. And to think their wedding ceremony almost didn’t happen.
A month ago, Temple feared she was no longer in love with her beloved. Two weeks ago she told him so. Last week she called the wedding off in a fit of anger.
Carl and Temple’s story started ten years ago. They’ve persevered through a lot of differences – cultural, material and physical. But the sameness of their hearts and spirits… well, I daresay, that mattered most and, rightfully so, won out.
A month ago, Temple watched her favorite romance, The Notebook. As she sat on her sofa crying, she lamented that her love didn’t seem to hold a candle to the love chronicled in The Notebook. When Carl got home, she was in tears. Being the pragmatic man he is, he asked her what was wrong and what could he do to help. She replied, “Give me The Notebook type of love.”
“What’s The Notebook,” he asked.
To Temple, this sounded like irrefutable confirmation that he was most certainly not the one for her. But being the generous woman she is, she gave Carl the DVD and asked him to watch it and get back to her.
I don’t know if Carl ever watched the movie and if he did, if he got anything from it. But I do know I had to shake Temple awake! Gurl! Don’t you let yo’ man go because of The Notebook! Ha ha ha! That was a good conversation….
I didn’t meet Carl until the day of the wedding, but I felt like a long time friend by the time I shook his hand in greeting. Temple had gotten sidetracked by the fiery sparks, electric passion and timeless way love is depicted by a great storyteller in a soft-lit Hollywood romance. She wanted to be swept up in the rain in a wild reckless passion… She wanted her eyes to light up when she spoke of him… she wanted to feel tingles whenever she thought of him…. Unfortunately, she was feeling trapped in the mechanics of life and couldn’t grasp that love was actually carrying her through it all.
Temple has since thanked me repeatedly for what I said that day. I don’t remember all the words I had for her, but I recall the general message: “I don’t know Carl. I only know what you’ve told me. According to you, he’s a good man. I can only take you at your word. At no point have you said you no longer love him. You think you’re missing out on one element – romance. I’m gonna tell ya, no one has it all.” Then I listed all the things Carl has done for her and her daughter over the years. All the ways he had proven himself her loyal supporter, faithful provider, constant friend, adamant advocate and yes, even her beloved lover. Carl not only impressed Temple with his unfailingly active presence in her life, he impressed people listening in on their life (i.e. me).
Going through the rockiness of the last month with Temple didn’t prepare me for the awesome glow emanating from them both yesterday. I admit, I was mesmerized. So very mesmerized. Especially when they danced their first dance as man and wife to “Go Light Your World” by Kathy Troccoli. [Listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC52Y60LBL4%5D Temple thought her love didn’t touch on The Notebook, I told her last night, “The way Carl looks at you is better than anything in The Notebook!”
Lately, have you thought about what you think makes you happy versus what actually makes you happy? After ten years in her relationship, when it came down to the wire, Temple feared she might be settling. We can call it cold feet or second thoughts, whichever, she was contemplating trading in the real thing to go search for an illusion.
I know she is extremely happy with her decision and her commitment and I am extremely happy for her. They have my heartfelt prayers and congratulations for their union.
My answer is: LOVE makes me happy. Seeing love in action, feeling love move, giving love my attention, experiencing love in daily life, being surrounded by love in others and witnessing love perform miracles. Pretty much any manifestation of LOVE makes me happy.
Do you know what makes you happy?